#my grandparents are on my back about everything

[sparkbirdmusic]

WOODEN is out today 💚 I ran away from home in high school and ended up living with my grandparents till I graduated. One day, my grandpa gave me the small rock you see in the second picture, engraved with the word “Always”. I asked him, “Why ‘Always’?” And he said, “Well, you’ll always be Stephan. And I think that that’s a good person to be.”

I remember asking him whether he felt differently about me (I had just been outed), and he told me that I was alright by him as long as I wasn’t hurting people.

I couldn’t imagine hurting anyone—not even in self-defense. This ended up being put to the test some years later (the lyric about “bleeding in the brambles” is literal), and I found that I couldn’t bring myself to fight back.

Writing this song, I thought about things being gone forever—my grandpa, Ivory-billed Woodpeckers (an extinct bird), possibly me if I refused to ever defend myself.

I thought about deforestation, and empty holes where Ivory-billed Woodpeckers used to nest. Holes like the caves where my grandpa’s memories had once nested (he had dementia towards the end of his life). I thought about the wood my grandpa turned into things like bird houses and bird feeders and a case for my souvenir spoon collection. I wondered what ghosts might be lurking in all those wooden things, and I wrote this impressionistic song.

It’s interesting how you never know everything about the art you’ve created. This morning I listened to the song, and I finally realized how the parts fit together. The chorus (“always be you”) isn’t only my grandpa speaking to me—it’s me speaking to him. Not just as my grandpa but as a human being who struggled in his own particular ways, and who eventually needed caretaking.

This song is so personal, but I want you to know that you are free and encouraged to make your own meaning with it. I consider your using my songs for your own purposes the greatest compliment and the greatest gift. I have no expectations, but I’ll be interested to see if it takes on any new life.

[tunapesto]

ootd...

[zipquips]

also. i'm kind of pissed because i am the one who tries the hardest in my family and makes the greatest effort to bring us all together at holidays and keep traditions alive. like that was the role of my grandparents and i fill that void but technically the title of family patriarch/matriarch/leader falls to both my mom and aunt because they're the generation above me. i am okay with that!

and ig my brother talked to my dad about the hypothetical 'who will be leader next generation after the tragic one day our mom and aunt aren't around anymore.' and they said our eldest cousin would try to assume that role (which i agree, he already tries to and is very full of himself and wants power and recognition despite not putting much effort towards family). and then my brother said it should be him thats leader because that's who our grandfather would've picked (bold statement. our grandfather was closest to our eldest cousin). and essentially, my brother and my dad don't think my grandfather or any of my cousins would ever possibly consider me leader because i am not a man like everyone else

and i am fucking pissed. because i make the most effort to get the family together. we wouldn't see each other for holidays without my coordination and effort. i do my best to uphold traditions and it's far more effort than my cousins (who don't care) or brother (who tries to avoid these events half the time) ever put in to these things. and they think they can just be family fucking head because they're men????

i don't like. yearn for power or positions of power in any situation. but i want my efforts recognized and i don't want everyone to pick someone else over me because i'm not a man. everyone already expects my eldest cousin to be the head and lead prayers and then he can't do it because he doesn't speak greek so my aunt says the prayers instead and holds it all together for us in her parents absence and yet everyone has the fucking audacity to act like she's not the head of this family and it's my eldest cousin just because he's a man

[isa-ah]

yall ever end up thinking back on periods of ur life and ur like. bro what

[gottagobackintime]

What did I decide to do as I’m waiting for the new episode of The Pitt to drop? I decided to rewatch the episode of ER where Carter and Kem loses their baby… because I hate myself apparently…

Me every time I watch that episode:

[stupidlovepurplepeace]

Rest in peace Mateo, I'll miss you

[kittlyns]

.

[sanderssidesthehouse]

Sanders Sides is really annoying (affectionate?) to me bc when we talk about 'canon' most people in the conversation are all going to have different ideas of what 'canon' is from each other. For example, for me (and I'm making this post bc I wanted to clarify what I in particular am talking about when I talk about canon) canon is the mainline canon videos, asides (and videos that were previously asides) as well as other dedicated videos (such as the grwm) are supplementary but not canon, and nothing else is canon. But then there are people who take clarifying tweets as canon. And that's fine! It just makes it a little confusing when people are talking about 'canon' but everyone is talking about a different range of information.

Like I'll personally admit I'm a little snobby about what I consider canon. I'm the type if person that thinks if the creator wants something to be canon, it should be stated, implied, or possible to extrapolate from the canon work. For example with Dungeon Meshi, I don't take Daydream Hour as canon information, but rather supplementary. (Not that I need to bc Ryoko Kui does put everything you need to know into the manga, seriously if you haven't read it, I can't recommend it enough.) But there are some people who do. And that's ok! I also don't take her tweets or interviews as canon. This is a general rule I have in what I take as canon across all fandoms.

And I think I've not been clear enough about what I mean by 'supplementary' and I mean like, for example in Ace Attorney I am again, a total snob, and I only count canon as AA 1-4 and AAI 1&2 and this is not an incredibly unpopular opinion but it's still... y'know. Not considering 2 main line games canon. And there are loads of reasons for that which we don't have time for in this post bc we're not actually talking about Ace Attorney, so to get to my actual point. I don't consider the audio drama CDs to be 'canon' but you bet your ass Mikeko is showing up in my fics (a CD only pet cat for Apollo) and I also just stated I don't view AA5 as canon, or at least the same canon (it's complicated) but I love playing around with Clay's concept and several of the other characters from 5+6. I'm just not talking about them when I'm talking strictly about canon.

Idk if I explained that well enough (and if I didn't, please ask me to clarify). I just feel like everyone should have access to the information that I am a snob with unpopular opinions and I love you even if you're less of a snob than me. In fact that would probably be a plus. You DO NOT have to agree with me, I love when people have their own opinions, 'it takes all sorts' and all that, yeah? I just wanted to clarify what I'm talking about when I mention canon.

[tittyinfinity]

My mother confuses the fuck out of me

[balkanballad]

I think hearing Lane Moje live would heal me (parts of me)

[boycritter]

experiencing the horrors today (i have to go to the dentist)

[hinakudos]

watched a romance movie with a love triangle and im kinda in disbelief that i got the love interest the girl ends up with wrong

[softgothbabe]

Fave memory of my grandma:

Christmas. I'm 14 years old. My family is sitting at the dining room table after dinner. My grandma is a liiiittle drunk. Sitting beside me, she leans in to say, conspiratorially, "So, my dear. You're old enough now. Are you hot to trot?"

An hour later, my family is exchanging gifts. I unwrap the one from my grandma. It's a massive pack of jumbo menstrual pads. Like. Diaper-sized 😭

I fucking miss her.

[oh-snapperss]

they'll fund a genocide and let their poor regions be destroyed. don't fucking forgive them for that.

my hometown is completely gone from what pictures i can find of it, i have not heard from my family (including aunts, uncles, parents, one sibling, and a grandparent), and the infrastructure in the mountain communities is wiped out. i cannot stress how catastrophic this is, or how difficult it will be for these communities to build back. i am angry, and scared, and heartbroken by everything that's happened.

and our government is spending it's money to fund a genocide.

free palestine, and don't be complicit. realize that this is not something happening that doesn't affect you--although it shouldn't take this to care about the deaths of thousands of people anyway.

[bruciemilf]

There’s something off about Bruce.

Dick’s eye is trained for detail; He has to calculate every leap, every step, every breath, every count. He’s a showman. Everything is routine, and routine is everything.

Injury isn’t unusual, especially for his father .He out stubborns Tim in resisting medical examinations, after all.

For Bruce, secrets are protection. He lied about every injury he had when Dick was Robin, suffering in silent agony as the pain grew and grew, a tradition he carries on from Jason to Damian.

If Bruce screams, it’s bad.

“God fucking dammit, how the fuck does he do this? Who the fuck breaks their femur AND just carries on? Jesus FUCKING Christ.”

Bruce curses under his breath, profanity hushed. Dick’s veins freeze, blood turning to stone. He guesses his shock is obvious because Jason mirrors it to perfection.

One; Bruce doesn’t curse.

Two; He definitely doesn’t curse in a jersey accent.

The unease is pungent. Alfred practically tastes it, vitriolic as anything. His chest is taut, pulse slow, “Sir,” it’s cautious, “Shall I prepare the supplies?”

‘Bruce’ waves his hand, voice gruffer, lower, smokey, “Yeah, thanks, babe,”

Alfred blinks. And whoever pretends to be Bruce, blinks back, almost like a deer being cornered by an English hound, smile a bit boyish and unsure.

“…Thomas?”

“… Okay, you’re gonna laugh—“

Dick is reeling, because apparently:

His dead grandparents have been possessing his father throughout the years and they, wards to the best detective in the world, never caught on.

“Look, I get you’re pissed, BUT,” It’s so unbelievably weird watching Bruce be so expressive;

His hands move energetically, like they have their own voices, and his rain soft voice catches on fire when his father talks through him,

“This IS 50% MY body, technically.“

“Thomas, dear, that is not how that works. Come now, you’re scaring our grandchildren.”

And Jason’s voice is uncharacteristically soft when he speaks, more posh, more elegant . That is not his brother.

Alfred passes out, to no one’s surprise.

[opossumanon]

"Transandrophobia isn't real"

A few years back my grandparents and I wanted to see a gynecologist for reasons, I was under 18, but every gynecologist that worked with minors refused to take trans boys. I haven't had a single bit of medical transition unless you count birth control. I have a vagina and boobs. Everything about my body is female but I was denied care because my hair was short and I had a deeper voice.

And when I tried explaining this to a transphobe they went "Well yeah they don't want mentally ill people"

My exclusion was based off of me being too masculine. Y'know, the thing that transandrophobes claim doesn't exist?

Transmascs go through the same shit transfems do. Transandrophobes need to stop shitting on us to feel superior and get a fucking life.